Eliza Brooke wrote an article for Vox titled The introvert’s guide to actually enjoying a party (Aug 26, 2022).
« It’s all about managing your social battery. »
« When we talk about a person’s capacity for socializing, we’re often referring to how introverted or extroverted they are. Laurie Helgoe, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, describes introversion, in its simplest terms, as an internal orientation. “We go inward to make sense of the world. An extrovert is more likely to work things out through interaction and direct experience,” says Helgoe, who identifies as an introvert. People who are introverted tend to be most effective when they’re dealing with less external stimulation, whereas extroverts like a lot of external feedback. »
« Most of us possess shades of both introversion and extroversion. These traits exist on a continuum, says Zelenski, with the majority of people falling somewhere in the middle of the bell curve and a smaller number of extreme introverts and extroverts on either end… John Zelenski [is] a professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa who studies extroversion, happiness, and social behavior. »
« There’s nothing inherently good or bad about being introverted or extroverted, says Jennifer Kahnweiler, the author of Creating Introvert-Friendly Workplaces… “The way we plan all kinds of events, whether they’re social or business, tends to be very much skewed toward the extrovert ideal of being stimulated all the time,” says Kahnweiler. »
« Researchers have paid a lot of attention to the negative aspects of time spent alone, and with good reason, says Robert Coplan, a colleague of Zelenski’s in the Carleton University psychology department. “Unwanted solitude makes you feel lonely, and we know that chronic loneliness is not only bad for your mental health, it’s bad for your physical health,” Coplan says. But we can also get far less solitude than we crave, a phenomenon that Coplan, who studies the benefits of solitude, calls “aloneliness.” When people want alone time but are forced into prolonged social situations, they can become grumpy, sad, stressed-out, and exhausted. »
« Everyone needs a different amount of time spent socializing and time spent alone. »
« Taking periodic breaks away from the crowd is one of the most effective ways to recenter yourself. As an event is getting started, Kahnweiler recommends scoping out the venue for spots where you can chill out by yourself. To the extent that you have a formal schedule for the evening, you can also plot out when you’ll be seizing those opportunities. »
« Naturally, it also pays to charge your battery before the event begins. »
« The truth is that these decisions usually matter a lot to us and way less to everyone else. “We put a lot more pressure on ourselves,” says Kahnweiler. “People are not always thinking about us.” »
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